I lost my virginity . . .

It was a bright sunny day in the August . . . . oh wait . . . wrong post. 

(photo credit  This is a picture of Carambola Beach in St. Croix, USVI - my hometown.  Yes, our water is that blue.  Definitely worth the trip.  Make it when you can. *end of shameless plug for hometown to increase tourism*)

This post is about me getting my FIRST BLOG AWARD!!!!  My wonderful blog buddy, Natalie @ Mommy of a Monster, gave me this award.  As such, I've now lost my blog award virginity.

So to follow the rules, I must:

1. Thank the person who honored me with this award.

Thank you so much Natalie.  This girl is amazing.  She has three little ones, a little guy just under 3 years old and twin infant daughters.  They are so adorable!!!  Her blog posts are hilarious and she's definitely a blogger to follow.

2. Share seven things about myself.

• I only get pedicures.  No manicures.  Every time I go in for my pedicure, they ask if I'd like to wax my eyebrows or get a manicure.  Nope, no thanks.  I'm afraid to have to draw my eyebrows back on and, besides, I bite my nails.
• I play Wii Tennis like I think I'm at the US Open.  I don't get into a tennis outfit or anything, but I get tennis arm by the next day.  I go hard.
• I have retail fetishes, particularly Coach and Tiffany & Co.  I shop there all the time even though I know I'm over paying.  I'm pretty happy with my collection.
•  I'm afraid that my husband and I will never get to the point where we think we can afford to have a child. Being a Stay At Home Mom is already out of the question.
• I've been wearing high heeled shoes since I was 11 years old.  I used to practice wearing my mom's heels in the house and then she let me wearing high heels for my sixth grade graduation.  Been smitten ever since.
• I met my best friend, Ms. DD, in 1985, thus making this year our 25th anniversary of our friendship.
• I don't like apples or apple pie.  I love apple sauce and apple juice.  Go figure.

 3. Pass the award on to fifteen four bloggers who I've recently discovered who I think are fantastic.

• Shannon @ Green Monkey Tales - Shannon is an amazing writer.  She has a post about summer love that will having you hanging on to every word.  She is so real with what she posts.
• Jennifer @ Baby Making Machine - Jennifer is a future mom, only about three weeks to go.  Her blog is great.  I especially love her letters to her daughter, Lil' J.
• Megan @ Twinsomnia - Megan is a mom blogger who always has a great post about her ever exciting life.  She has a hilarious post about her daughter's dance techniques.  Plus she loves purple.  That makes her great in my book.
• Lori @ Tiny Little Reveries - Lori is a fun blogger to follow.  Her Tuesday post-its make me laugh every time.

There are other blogs that I love,  Teri @ The Bipolar Diva for one, but she recently got this award.  Check out these blogs.  If you aren't already following them, I'm sure you will be after checking them out.  Thanks again Natalie. 

I used to have a pen pal . . .

Last week I spoke with Natalie @ Mommy of a Monster and Teri @ The Bipolar Diva via email about SITS and how it's great that we met up through that site.  It got me thinking about how technology has changed the way we communicate.  photo credit

I've mentioned before that I'm a Seventh-day Adventist (SDA) Christian.  Growing up, we had a magazine called Guide, which basically is the equivalent to unisex, mini version of Seventeen Magazine for SDA kids.  The magazine had all sorts of articles, games, jokes, etc.  But near the very end of the magazine was a section for  pen pals.  (come to think of it, it was almost like personal ads for kids  . . . whoa)  I remember reading through the names and descriptions and thinking "Hmmm . . . . she sounds interesting, maybe I'll write to her."

So I wrote my letter and sent it on it's way. . . . and waited.  Things didn't move as fast back in 1994 as they do now.  Finally one day, my father brought home a letter just from MY PEN PAL.  I ripped it open in anticipation and read through it.  We exchanged letters and got to know each other.  It was amazing to know with all our differences (I was black, she was white; I was in the Caribbean, she was in the states; I went to private school; she went to public school), we had sooo many things in common (we both LOVED Kris Kross; had crushes on guys who had no idea; could relate to everything each other wrote in the letters).  Eventually, we stopped writing to each other, but I still have her picture in one of my photo albums.

One thing I never did was tell my friends I had a pen pal.  I could just imagine hearing, "What?!? You are talking to a COMPLETE STRANGER!!"  Then one day, a wise man named Al Gore invented THE INTERNET (tee hee).  Now talking to complete strangers is the norm.  With Myspace, Twitter, Crackbook, Facebook, blogs and a multitude of other internet-based social mediums as close as your smart phone away, you're strange if you don't talk to complete strangers.  However, just like my pen pal, I keep my blog life to myself.  Only my husband and my friend Audrey know I blog.  My blog, like my pen pal, is my dirty little secret . . .

Do your friends and family know you blog?  What do they think about you baring it all on the net?

Peace of mind . . . .

Tonight my husband and I sat on our front steps for about 25 minutes.  Just prior to that, we were in the house, in front the big screen watching something that I can't recall and on one of our gadgets (ipad, laptop, cell phone, something).  It seems that we are always Googling, YouTubing, Wikipedia searching, channel surfing or otherwise occupied. So tonight, I asked to sit outside for a bit and we left everything else inside.  photo credit

It was soooo peaceful.  There was sound was the sound of the crickets and the occasional passing vehicle, the smell of my blooming hydrangeas and lilies and the warmth of my husband's arm around my shoulders.  We made some small talk and smooched, but pretty much just sat in silence and basked in the peace of the night.  It was simply beautiful.

What do you do to find your peace of mind?

Three wishes . . . . . .

When I was younger, I used to wish and wish and wish for hair as long as my Barbie's hair.  Oh, if I had hair as long as Barbie's I could have long billowing curls or a really long pony tail or a number of other styles that I just KNEW I would look so gorgeous wearing.  Oh how I wish.

Then my older brother said to me one day, "If your hair was as long as your Barbie doll's hair, your hair would be like three inches long."

When the room stopping spinning around me following that revelation from the dream killing jerk my brother, I realized I should just leave the whole Barbie hair wish alone.
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As of late, I've been evaluating where I am in life right now and thinking of where I want to be.   I love making lists and plan on writing down my five year plan in the coming weeks.  I know the saying, anything worth having is worth waiting for and I plan on eventually acquiring these things over the next five years, but if I had three wishes . . .

I wish I could have a piano.

I used to play the piano when I was younger, right up until I left home for my Junior year of college.  Playing the piano was such a relaxing, therapeutic escape for me.  I would close my eyes and run my fingers across the keys.  I was no Beethoven, but I was pretty good.  So the question might be, why not just get a piano?  Not so easy.  I have no where in my townhouse to put it.  So, that leads me to my second wish.

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I wish we had a brand new single family home.

First of all, it would be a great place to put my piano.  Then they would be all the wonderful space that would come with it.  I would have a real kitchen to cook in and a new space to decorate.  It would be cool to have nifty stuff like double vanity sinks and a jacuzzi tub.  It would give us great space to raise our future family (and our current menagerie - two dogs, cat and snake).  So lastly . . .

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I wish my husband and I could sail off into the sunset.

I was telling a friend of mine today that for my 35th birthday, I would love to organize a group cruise with my friends and their husbands/significant others.  My husband does not fly; absolutely refuses to get on an airplane, but he's completely open to the idea of a cruise.  But I would love it if we could get away right now for at least a 7-day cruise.

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So those are my three wishes.  What would your three wishes be?

I'm scared y'all

I have a big decision to make and it's pretty unnerving. 


I have a Master's Degree is Social Work and I currently work as a Probation Officer (juvenile).  My clients (all male) are on the high end of the offenses scale so I supervise kids who commit felony charges (sex offenders, murderer, armed offenses, etc).   I enjoy working with this population.  I actually wanted to work as a probation officer since I was a teenager.  So now that I'm here, and have been here for six years, I feel like I'm not effective.
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Why am I ineffective?  Because by the time one of these kids come to me, they've probably been in crisis for years.  They've not been going to school regularly for months.  They had been smoking marijuana for quite some time.  It has been instilled in them for years that very little is expected of them and from them.  So then,  then get arrested and a file with their name lands on my desk and all of a sudden, I'm supposed to "fix" them. Huh???

So this has been bothering me for a while.  I love working with these kids, but I feel like it's just a revolving door until they graduate into the big leagues.  So I want to work with them in school.  In a school setting, I'd see them more than the 30 minutes (max) a week that I spend with my clients right now.

So, it looks like I'm headed back to school. I plan to pursue my PhD in Psychology.  I want to be a School Psychologist.  I scared.  I'm afraid of failure.  I know it's going to take time.  It's going to be expensive.  I plan to have a baby sometime in the mix. I don't know if I can get it all done.  I know lot of people are full time students, full time parents and work full time, so it's definitely possibly.  I hope I can do it do.  photo credit

Playing in the Paint

I've noticed many bloggers do a theme post on a weekly basis.  Wordless Wednesday is a particularly popular one.  I'm not a daily blogger as yet (I think my life might be too boring for that), but I'm going to dabble in a theme post. photo credit

I am not a makeup wearer.  I frankly prefer to catch an extra 20 minutes in bed that to get dolled up for work.  My makeup of choice for daily work wear . . . .

Oh yeah . . . . that's knock your socks off sexy isn't it.  photo credit  I want to spice up my weekend look so as luck would have it, my friend Audrey over at Single with a Desire has just become an Avon Sales Representative.  I purchased a pretty decent starter kit.  

Before:  This is me everyday.  I should have added the my "done up" look, which is eye liner and mascara for weekends, but the fact that I even got these pics taken was pure luck- I had a camera fiasco.

After: I used primarily Avon products.  Purple Haze Quad, Bright Lights shadow stick in white and black Glimmer Stick liner.  I used Smashbox bionic mascara-only one coat.  As mentioned, I had a camera fiasco so after taking this shot, I blended out the outer edge that looks really harsh, but don't have a pic of that.

What I've learned in the first installment of Playing in the Paint.
1. Avon Quad powders have lots of shimmer, but aren't really bold.
2. I need an eyebrow brush and more shadow brushes.
3. I need to work on blending (clearly).
4. I don't have to be afraid of lining my inner eye in white.
5. Makeup in person is much more forgiving than a zoomed in picture with flash.

So please, please, please all you makeup mavens out there, help a girl out.  Suggestions on color, application techniques and whatever else you can think of are greatly appreciated as I Play in the Paint.

Looking back

Happy Mother's Day all you moms out there.

I started this blog a few days after Mother's Day 2009.  I had no real plan or direction of what I would do with this blog.  I was compelled to write something Mother's Day related since it was still pretty much the season of Mother's Day (sales).  So I put my thoughts to "paper" and made this post.  I just read it again for the first time in quite a while. 

It still crushes me that she isn't here.  She didn't see me graduate from undergrad/grad school.  She didn't get to congratulate me on my first job . . . first car (that I bought) . . .  first home.  She never got to cry on my wedding day . . . meet my wonderful husband . . .  or her future grandchildren.  I cry because I miss her.  I cry because I'm angry she couldn't be here.  I cry because there was nothing I could do to make it so she could be here today.  Leaves me feeling so powerless.  What I always treasure  are my last words to her . . . I love you.  It's hard to remember to make your parting words, positive words.  I'm so happy I can treasure my last words to her.  No regrets.  I miss you mom.  I love you.