I should have known that something was not quite right when he "found" me one day at work. Stalked might be a more accurate term. He searched four floors of an office building until he found me. He said someone told him where I sat. I told him he was a liar. He admitted my suspicions were right. Caution bells rang in my head. I turned off the volume.
So time passed. We dated. I was not attracted to him physically. He was average height and skinny. Not my style. But he was gritty. Urban. Different . . . Wrong. And I liked that. And he liked that I was the good girl. He was guns, drugs and alcohol. I went to church every week. A match made in hell. I felt the fire. I turned off my senses.
The relationship went the course that all bad relationships go. He was jealous. He was abusive. And I stayed. He didn't want me around my friends or family. Yet I stayed . . . until I couldn't take it anymore. The only way out was for him to leave me. So I made him miserable. Risky, but it worked. He left. I sold my house and moved. Sometimes you have to leave it all behind.
Often times I think, oh, if I could do it over again. If I had simply heeded to the warning signs. How different, how happy, that time in my life would have been. Then I remember, the slightest change in my life could have set me on a course that led me away from my husband. So I say to myself, it was all worth it because in I truly am the Yin to his Yang.
This post was written for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Prompt #1 was "If you could do it over again . . . "
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I married someone just like that...I was more afraid to leave than I was to stay...eventually I left! Glad to hear it all turned out the right way for you!
ReplyDeleteThese situations are so scary and seems so easy to slip into. Glad you're ok!
ReplyDeleteLook how blessed you are now!!
ReplyDeleteI am stuck in a similar situation at present and it is really difficult for me to leave and let him go...I love him but he seems to be least bothered. I wish things heal up soon
ReplyDeletesometimes we have to kiss a few frogs before we find our prince. I'm so glad you got out.
ReplyDeleteThis post was really good. I liked the honesty. How many of us have been in that same situation. I know I have and I too have learned the hard way.
ReplyDeleteOver from Mama Kat's.
Girl, I went through the same thing. I saw the warning signs but said to myself, "he just really, really loves me." I ended up engaged to this psycho and called the wedding off a month before we were suppose to walk down the aisle(I was 24). It went downhill fast after that. Long story short, I had to get a restraining order against this crazy. Would I take it all back, nope. You have to learn from each experience. If someone else is caught in a bad situation, I can help them because I lived it. I learned so much about myself and the world when I went through that.
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies for coming by. I really went back and forth on whether to do this post.
ReplyDeleteTarunita (and any other ladies currently in it), you are exactly why I hit the publish button. My ex never hit me. He didn't have to. He had emotionally crippled me to the point that I dealt with crap that was ridiculous. I also knew that he was not too shy to shoot me in the head and walk away. These relationships don't get better with time. Hoping and waiting is futile. Get Out.
I feel the same way. It's hard to say I'd do it over because today I can't imagine my life any differently.
ReplyDelete*hug*
A Long Drive
I'm glad you pushed the publish button too. Lord knows how many people you helped with this post.
ReplyDeleteWOW! It's crazy how that happens. My bad boy led me to my husband as well. I can't imagine that I went through that but it led me to the life I was intended to live. Thanks for a great post!
ReplyDeleteThank God that was the end to your bad boy experience!! God Bless the man you are married to you true "yang"!!
ReplyDeleteHaha, what a great story. I am so glad you got out of that yucky relationship.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! That is so scary. I'm glad you were able to get away, even if it meant driving him bananas. And I'm also glad that you found a good man in your husband. You deserve to be happy.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by! Have a great weekend!
Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
@TweetingMama
Crafty bastards!!! I find it so amazing how similar all morons are...glad you are out :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post, truly well written. I am back and I am glad things went the way they did for me too.
ReplyDeleteI am so strong and happy to be part for this community called blogsphere. Thanks for staying and leaving me encouraging comments.
I had a very similar relationship...while he never "hit" me, he hit me with words everyday, and eventually pushed and threatened.
ReplyDeleteGlad we both are happy and in healthy relationships now :)
BTW - you won my Frito Lay giveaway! Send me your full name and address so I can get you the goodies!
As a single woman this is one of the things that terrifies me - how easy it is to convince yourself that something is good, or can be made better, when it can't... Thank you for being brave enough to share it!
ReplyDeleteI love how eloquently you write, you truly write from the heart.
ReplyDeleteI never experienced anything like that and I'm sorry you did...but so glad you were led down the path to meet your love. I wish that for everyone!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear it ended for good.
ReplyDeleteI know how hard it is to break a habit.
Check that one off my list. I have dated the bad boy and lived to tell the tale.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, we move onward and upward. Sounds like you did.
You know, I can completely relate to your story. I too went through a bad relationship before I met my husband. I love the way you look at it, all meant to be, no matter how bad it was.
ReplyDeleteSO glad that that relationship is behind you!! No one deserves to be treated that way. Thank you for sharing your story. * Hugs *
ReplyDelete