Last week I shared with you that at the age of 9 my then boyfriend taught me a lesson about dating that stuck with me for the rest of my life. I learned that in relationships, especially the immature, self-serving relationships that you have as pre-teens, in teen years and quite often into adulthood, people are in it for what they can get out of it. I also shared that after I got a new boyfriend at the age of 12, I was never single again. So here is how that happened.
Like I said, the lesson stuck with me. I vowed I would never let myself be on the side where anyone else got more out of the relationship than I did. I know it's the absolute WORST attitude to have about a relationship. Every time I felt I was on the losing end or less beneficial side of a relationship, I moved on to guy who was waiting in the wings. That was my MO, my defense mechanism, my foible.
But I eventually lost myself in that cycle and the cycle started to define me. I was not the sassy 9 year old who told her boyfriend he could step off. I wasn't even the teen girl, who moved from the 13 year old gentleman to the 17 year old older guy to the 15 year old funny guy as I saw fit. I became the 22 year old who started defining herself by being in a relationship. I became the 24 year old who stayed too long in a bad relationship. I became the 25 year old who accepted mediocrity in a "relationship" because at least it was a "relationship". My independent spirit became needy. My sassy 'tude became deflated. My foible became my downfall. I finally woke up and realized I didn't like who was looking back at me in the mirror. And although I did move from the "relationship" to my husband, I was no longer THAT girl. My husband has no idea why I need to be so strong, so independent and so unlike the girl I became, but I'm happy about who I am today.
What were some of your dating missteps and regrets?
This post was written as a continuation of my last post and I'm surprised I opened up this much on here. It's also my submission in this week's Word of the Week, a blog hop led by Nerd Mafia (Natalie, Liz and Kristin). This week the word is foible; one definition is a minor flaw or shortcoming in character or behavior. Come join us (click on pic for link).