Like I said, the lesson stuck with me. I vowed I would never let myself be on the side where anyone else got more out of the relationship than I did. I know it's the absolute WORST attitude to have about a relationship. Every time I felt I was on the losing end or less beneficial side of a relationship, I moved on to guy who was waiting in the wings. That was my MO, my defense mechanism, my foible.
But I eventually lost myself in that cycle and the cycle started to define me. I was not the sassy 9 year old who told her boyfriend he could step off. I wasn't even the teen girl, who moved from the 13 year old gentleman to the 17 year old older guy to the 15 year old funny guy as I saw fit. I became the 22 year old who started defining herself by being in a relationship. I became the 24 year old who stayed too long in a bad relationship. I became the 25 year old who accepted mediocrity in a "relationship" because at least it was a "relationship". My independent spirit became needy. My sassy 'tude became deflated. My foible became my downfall. I finally woke up and realized I didn't like who was looking back at me in the mirror. And although I did move from the "relationship" to my husband, I was no longer THAT girl. My husband has no idea why I need to be so strong, so independent and so unlike the girl I became, but I'm happy about who I am today.
What were some of your dating missteps and regrets?
This post was written as a continuation of my last post and I'm surprised I opened up this much on here. It's also my submission in this week's Word of the Week, a blog hop led by Nerd Mafia (Natalie, Liz and Kristin). This week the word is foible; one definition is a minor flaw or shortcoming in character or behavior. Come join us (click on pic for link).
Ha ha You don't wanna know my relationship missteps and regrets. Yours appear very normal. :) I love comments from "Ms. Understood" on my blog. Thanks girly!
ReplyDeleteOh man. I could have written this post. It was like looking back at my previous dating history. Heh.
ReplyDeleteHi from SITS
Here Here Funky Mama Bird I second that.
ReplyDeleteOne of my "dating" missteps well let me back up I wouldn't say "dating" because I never really got to that point. They jumped from friend to boyfriend and then it would become serious.
One of the things that I can't quite say I regret is giving my ALL and I mean ALL of me into a relationship. I say that I can't quite regret because I feel that's how a relationship should be. Both couples giving all to eachother.
What I can say I do regret is making the mistake of giving my all to the wrong person in my past but even through that expierence it actually made me, as cliche as this might sound, but it did make me a much stronger woman.
Oh dear, I wouldnt even know where to BEGIN with my dating missteps. You would think that at 23, I wouldnt have many, ESPECIALLY considering that I've been with my hubby for 3 years, married for 2 of those! Looking back though, I would say the biggest mistake was being who I thought someone wanted me to be, instead of being myself, and allowing someone to appreciate who I was.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to stop by and say "THANKS" for visiting me on my SITS day. Love your blog and your header picture is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteGood luck finding a new camera and ordering that iPhone. Seems Apple wasn't ready for all that traffic!
Have a great week!
I had the opposite problem and married the first man I dated. My foible was not shopping around...except that I guess it really wasn't because without that foible, I wouldn't have my kids. Oh, the irony of it...
ReplyDeleteI would have to say my biggest misstep would be allowing relationships to replace the energy that I should have been using toward who I could have been. Relationships became my distraction and substitute for real substance in my life. That's a foible that I'm glad is long gone. Thank you for sharing. I loves it!
ReplyDeleteI can so relate!! I think we all need those experiences to learn and hopefully grow from.
ReplyDeleteOh I like your blog! I remember the day I realized that I was moving too fast in relationships. Every guy I dated I was asking myself if he was good husband/father material before even deciding if I liked the guy or not.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! I love that you opened up and shared your dating "foibles" with us. In the past, I relied on men to make me happy. Instead of seeking the love I need from God, I depended on men. It was a vicious cycle and I'm glad that it was broken. I'm happily married these days and wouldn't go back to those self-destructive ways if you paid me!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping by. Have a great day.
Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
@TweetingMama
Oooh I know that feeling. Those lessons get internalized so easily!
ReplyDeleteDiscovered you on SITS. Great site!
Hope to see you again soon.
multiplemama.com
This was awesome! I love that you continued last week's story and that this is so insightful and real.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Saw your comment on Kristi's blog and came on over for a read... I did the same thing. One relationship to another - I would get so bored without one and couldn't just "be"! Glad you opened up about it - I think a lot of women can relate :)
ReplyDelete@mmdrama
Great post and continuation of your previous story.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to think that every relationship I've had makes me who I am today and that I'm a little wiser, a little more patient with myself and a little more forgiving of my heart and the crazy paths it has led me down.
I love your new header picture, it's gorgeous.
Another great WOW entry too!! :)
I constantly say that I have no regrets about decisions of my past, because changing one slight decision could make the difference of me not having my husband and 2 beautiful kids!
ReplyDelete...and I'm with Tonya, I love your header picture...stunning!!!
I guess I could call it a misstep but I suffered from really low self esteem. That caused me to make A LOT of mistakes when I was younger. Most of which I wish I could undo.
ReplyDeleteI just love the honesty that you put into your posts!! Makes you seem more human, and like the rest of us!! Thanks again for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteYet another thing we have in common! I love how you continued this post from your last one. And the more I get to know you, the more I wonder if we were meant to know each other because of all of our similarities in our views on life :)
ReplyDeleteYou changed your header picture! I LOVE it!
Thank you ladies for the comments. I really appreciates them. I really believe this was the hardest one for me to publish, y'all really helped me feel pretty normal (lol) seeing so many people could relate. I'm on a road trip with girlfriends right now and my Internet is spotty. I can't wait to get back to reading your blogs. I'm gonna have so much catching up to do. Have a great wekend.
ReplyDeleteHey there! Just visiting from www.peacefuldivas.com now following you!!!
ReplyDeleteFoible- that's a new word for me too!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your husband accepts you for who you are today, even if he may not understand it. Looks like you learned a lot from your past.
I have an award for you over at my blog!
Extremely honest. Don't you wish you could've written a letter to yourself back then??
ReplyDelete