Peace of mind . . . .

Tonight my husband and I sat on our front steps for about 25 minutes.  Just prior to that, we were in the house, in front the big screen watching something that I can't recall and on one of our gadgets (ipad, laptop, cell phone, something).  It seems that we are always Googling, YouTubing, Wikipedia searching, channel surfing or otherwise occupied. So tonight, I asked to sit outside for a bit and we left everything else inside.  photo credit

It was soooo peaceful.  There was sound was the sound of the crickets and the occasional passing vehicle, the smell of my blooming hydrangeas and lilies and the warmth of my husband's arm around my shoulders.  We made some small talk and smooched, but pretty much just sat in silence and basked in the peace of the night.  It was simply beautiful.

What do you do to find your peace of mind?

Three wishes . . . . . .

When I was younger, I used to wish and wish and wish for hair as long as my Barbie's hair.  Oh, if I had hair as long as Barbie's I could have long billowing curls or a really long pony tail or a number of other styles that I just KNEW I would look so gorgeous wearing.  Oh how I wish.

Then my older brother said to me one day, "If your hair was as long as your Barbie doll's hair, your hair would be like three inches long."

When the room stopping spinning around me following that revelation from the dream killing jerk my brother, I realized I should just leave the whole Barbie hair wish alone.
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As of late, I've been evaluating where I am in life right now and thinking of where I want to be.   I love making lists and plan on writing down my five year plan in the coming weeks.  I know the saying, anything worth having is worth waiting for and I plan on eventually acquiring these things over the next five years, but if I had three wishes . . .

I wish I could have a piano.

I used to play the piano when I was younger, right up until I left home for my Junior year of college.  Playing the piano was such a relaxing, therapeutic escape for me.  I would close my eyes and run my fingers across the keys.  I was no Beethoven, but I was pretty good.  So the question might be, why not just get a piano?  Not so easy.  I have no where in my townhouse to put it.  So, that leads me to my second wish.

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I wish we had a brand new single family home.

First of all, it would be a great place to put my piano.  Then they would be all the wonderful space that would come with it.  I would have a real kitchen to cook in and a new space to decorate.  It would be cool to have nifty stuff like double vanity sinks and a jacuzzi tub.  It would give us great space to raise our future family (and our current menagerie - two dogs, cat and snake).  So lastly . . .

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I wish my husband and I could sail off into the sunset.

I was telling a friend of mine today that for my 35th birthday, I would love to organize a group cruise with my friends and their husbands/significant others.  My husband does not fly; absolutely refuses to get on an airplane, but he's completely open to the idea of a cruise.  But I would love it if we could get away right now for at least a 7-day cruise.

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So those are my three wishes.  What would your three wishes be?

I'm scared y'all

I have a big decision to make and it's pretty unnerving. 


I have a Master's Degree is Social Work and I currently work as a Probation Officer (juvenile).  My clients (all male) are on the high end of the offenses scale so I supervise kids who commit felony charges (sex offenders, murderer, armed offenses, etc).   I enjoy working with this population.  I actually wanted to work as a probation officer since I was a teenager.  So now that I'm here, and have been here for six years, I feel like I'm not effective.
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Why am I ineffective?  Because by the time one of these kids come to me, they've probably been in crisis for years.  They've not been going to school regularly for months.  They had been smoking marijuana for quite some time.  It has been instilled in them for years that very little is expected of them and from them.  So then,  then get arrested and a file with their name lands on my desk and all of a sudden, I'm supposed to "fix" them. Huh???

So this has been bothering me for a while.  I love working with these kids, but I feel like it's just a revolving door until they graduate into the big leagues.  So I want to work with them in school.  In a school setting, I'd see them more than the 30 minutes (max) a week that I spend with my clients right now.

So, it looks like I'm headed back to school. I plan to pursue my PhD in Psychology.  I want to be a School Psychologist.  I scared.  I'm afraid of failure.  I know it's going to take time.  It's going to be expensive.  I plan to have a baby sometime in the mix. I don't know if I can get it all done.  I know lot of people are full time students, full time parents and work full time, so it's definitely possibly.  I hope I can do it do.  photo credit

Playing in the Paint

I've noticed many bloggers do a theme post on a weekly basis.  Wordless Wednesday is a particularly popular one.  I'm not a daily blogger as yet (I think my life might be too boring for that), but I'm going to dabble in a theme post. photo credit

I am not a makeup wearer.  I frankly prefer to catch an extra 20 minutes in bed that to get dolled up for work.  My makeup of choice for daily work wear . . . .

Oh yeah . . . . that's knock your socks off sexy isn't it.  photo credit  I want to spice up my weekend look so as luck would have it, my friend Audrey over at Single with a Desire has just become an Avon Sales Representative.  I purchased a pretty decent starter kit.  

Before:  This is me everyday.  I should have added the my "done up" look, which is eye liner and mascara for weekends, but the fact that I even got these pics taken was pure luck- I had a camera fiasco.

After: I used primarily Avon products.  Purple Haze Quad, Bright Lights shadow stick in white and black Glimmer Stick liner.  I used Smashbox bionic mascara-only one coat.  As mentioned, I had a camera fiasco so after taking this shot, I blended out the outer edge that looks really harsh, but don't have a pic of that.

What I've learned in the first installment of Playing in the Paint.
1. Avon Quad powders have lots of shimmer, but aren't really bold.
2. I need an eyebrow brush and more shadow brushes.
3. I need to work on blending (clearly).
4. I don't have to be afraid of lining my inner eye in white.
5. Makeup in person is much more forgiving than a zoomed in picture with flash.

So please, please, please all you makeup mavens out there, help a girl out.  Suggestions on color, application techniques and whatever else you can think of are greatly appreciated as I Play in the Paint.

Looking back

Happy Mother's Day all you moms out there.

I started this blog a few days after Mother's Day 2009.  I had no real plan or direction of what I would do with this blog.  I was compelled to write something Mother's Day related since it was still pretty much the season of Mother's Day (sales).  So I put my thoughts to "paper" and made this post.  I just read it again for the first time in quite a while. 

It still crushes me that she isn't here.  She didn't see me graduate from undergrad/grad school.  She didn't get to congratulate me on my first job . . . first car (that I bought) . . .  first home.  She never got to cry on my wedding day . . . meet my wonderful husband . . .  or her future grandchildren.  I cry because I miss her.  I cry because I'm angry she couldn't be here.  I cry because there was nothing I could do to make it so she could be here today.  Leaves me feeling so powerless.  What I always treasure  are my last words to her . . . I love you.  It's hard to remember to make your parting words, positive words.  I'm so happy I can treasure my last words to her.  No regrets.  I miss you mom.  I love you.

You wanna know what's gross??

DANNON ACTIVIA

I don't know why I thought something that was supposed to affect my colon would taste yummy . . . Not so much.  I opened it a raised I eye brow because it looked nothing like my yoplait yogurt that I'm accustomed to eating.  After stirring for about 15 seconds, trying to make the consistency look normal, I took a taste . . . Can you say BLAH.  I likened it to paste then thought, "Why do I know what paste tastes like??" . . . Oh yeah, 3rd grade, Elmers glue and a dare.

So as I continued to eat my cherry flavored paste, I decided to look up the ingredients and compare it to yoplait light.  It has more calories, more sodium, more carbs and the same amount of sugar.  Okay, so what's the benefit of eating this crap?  Oh yeah, Bifidus Regularis, which according to the website, naturally occurs in your colon.  That led me to wonder where'd they get the bifidus they put in my yogurt.  I quickly moved on from that thought.  So what's the purpose of this bifidus?  The site states, " Activia every day for two weeks delivers enough Bifidus Regularis to help regulate your digestive system by helping with slow intestinal transit." Source  So hold up.  It's slowing down my system?  Isn't that going to cause constipation?  That can't be good.

Hmmm . . .  I guess I was right . . . maybe it is paste.

My very random celebrity crush

 I have a new celebrity crush just about every other day.  My husband teases me about it all the time and asks, "You still like XYZ?'  So, today's celebrity crush is Christian Payton who played Paul Williams in the Temptations movie.  *Sigh*  I've always liked the bad boy and this pic is very badboy-esque. 


For some reason the Stevie Wonder song, "For Once in My Life" popped into my head tonight so I put it into YouTube and the scene from the Temptations movie where Christian was singing his booty off was listed (swoon).  So I pulled him up in IMDB and my crush ensued.  LOL. I'll be over him by Thursday, but for now . . . . I crush . . .

Venture over to YouTube to hear him sing.  It's not a "pretty" rendition, but it wasn't meant to be.  However, you can tell that on any given night, you'd love to hear him serenade you.
 
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I'm in withdrawal . . . and it sucks

Happy World Fitness Day!  I planned to start my healthy living journey on May 1st (after I ate all the snacks I had stashed in my house).  While reading this post on My Brown Baby blog, I learned that the day I selected to start was a worldwide day for Fitness.  So here I am, excited and ready to go from jiggles to muscles . . . right? 

Well, I guess I'm supposed to be excited, but not so much.  I'm sitting here thinking about how tasty a Kit Kat bar would be right now and about how satisfying a (pack of ) Grandma brand vanilla creme sandwich cookies would be.  I have something of a sweet tooth.  I LOVE sweets, so this is going to be the hardest thing for me.  I don't care about sodas, alcohol and juices (I don't drink either; only water, kicking that habit last month was actually easy).  Fatty comfort foods aren't really a problem either, but candies and sweets  . . . . sigh . . .  So as a result, I'm going through withdrawal.  I know that  I can have sweets occasionally and it won't be an issue.  I plan on getting some Dove dark chocolate bars, since they are apparently a "good" chocolate.  I also plan to get a boatload of healthy snacking foods (like dried apricots and the little tangerines, which are like candy to me - yummy).  I got my grocery list from Women's Health Magazine.  So tomorrow, I'll be going shopping.  

So when you start anything, you should want to have some kind of goal/expectation.  Where do I want to end up?

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LOL, not likely.  It's not even really where I want to go.  I would like to just be flat in the tummy area with toned armed arms (like Michelle Obama) with over all great health.  More so like this . . . .

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I know this is not an over night thing.  I don't have a weight goal, I just know what I hope to look like.  Hopefully I'm happy in the end.  For right now, I'm going to make myself a snack of peanut butter on some raisin toast. Yum!