Monday, May 10, 2010

Looking back

Happy Mother's Day all you moms out there.

I started this blog a few days after Mother's Day 2009.  I had no real plan or direction of what I would do with this blog.  I was compelled to write something Mother's Day related since it was still pretty much the season of Mother's Day (sales).  So I put my thoughts to "paper" and made this post.  I just read it again for the first time in quite a while. 

It still crushes me that she isn't here.  She didn't see me graduate from undergrad/grad school.  She didn't get to congratulate me on my first job . . . first car (that I bought) . . .  first home.  She never got to cry on my wedding day . . . meet my wonderful husband . . .  or her future grandchildren.  I cry because I miss her.  I cry because I'm angry she couldn't be here.  I cry because there was nothing I could do to make it so she could be here today.  Leaves me feeling so powerless.  What I always treasure  are my last words to her . . . I love you.  It's hard to remember to make your parting words, positive words.  I'm so happy I can treasure my last words to her.  No regrets.  I miss you mom.  I love you.

15 comments:

  1. *wiping tears*
    Great post! I feel the same way about my father. He was my best friend and not a day goes by that I don't think of him. My father passed 2 weeks after I turned 15 and for the past 15 years it's been a struggle to know that he isn't here with me to smile with me or to make me laugh when I'm down. You don't know how much your words spoke from my own heart, soul, and mind. It's good to know there is someone out there that understands you.

    Thank you for this =)

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  2. * wiping tears too * This is a beautiful post.

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  3. JT - You and I know exactly how each other feels. It will continue to be a struggle, but what's wonderful is that we had someone so awesome in our lives that we miss them so dearly.

    Audrey - Hey lady. Thanks for stopping me and leaving your kind words.

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  4. What an incredibly sweet and touching post. I'm so sorry for your loss at far too young of an age.
    Stopped by from SITS.

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  5. Understand completely. Lost my mom 18 years ago, 5 days before I graduated from high school, from complications of Rheumatoid Arthritis. It is a battle, no doubt. It sucks actually. It never really quite goes away does it? But every time I see my son hit a triple, listen to my girls sing songs while playing dolls, or just see her favorite flower in a store, I am thankful she got me to where I am by raising me with love and Truth.

    I am glad you were in front of me at SITS today:)

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  6. This post makes me appreciate my mom so much! It's a beautiful post.
    Stopping by from SITS to say hello :)

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  7. This post is so touching. I read it twice, it is so beautiful. It makes me realize I want to make sure my parents know how much I appreciate them.

    Thank you for visiting my blog today.

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  8. Beautiful post. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Happy one year anniversary to you too!

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  9. Touching and lovely post. My father passed away 5 years ago this August, and it still seems so unreal at times. I could have written the last paragraph of this post, because I still feel that way to this day.

    Stopping by from the SITS Saturday Sharefest, BTW. :)

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  10. Beautiful post, what else can be said!

    Have a great weekend :)

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  11. That's sweet, and sad... I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

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  12. Thank you ladies for your kind words.

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  13. Beautiful post. I didn't know you lost your mom, I'm so sorry! I know she's looking down and smiling on you now though, and I'm sure she's so very proud of you :)

    And you should add your email to blogger comments! I always go to reply to you but can't! :( You can set it up in your profile!

    I wanted to tell you live giveaways go way high! I think my record was 700-something ;) They go too fast if they're low numbers! So pop in tomorrow if you wanna try to win! :D

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  14. This post struck a chord with me. My mom passed when I was 12, and it's still hard for me. It's hit me more lately, because of the fact that she won't be able to see my first child. I have three older sisters and one older brother, and none of my sisters have children. So I'm the first girl to go through it, and it would be SO much easier with my mom here.

    I admire your strength, as a wise person once told me, "There is strength in tears, only true compassionate humans can cry."

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